Be kind to yourself: Life Lessons From 2025

25th December 2025

Welcome to my short series 5 Things I’ve Learnt in 2025. This seems like a good point to reflect on the year and see what’s gone well, what’s gone wrong, and, most importantly, what I can look forward to in the future.

Here’s the fourth thing I learnt:

Be kind to yourself.

Do you ever hear a voice in your head? It’s the voice. The one that has you worrying about an urgent deadline or what to wear tomorrow. The one that sometimes says disparaging things and makes you feel like you’re not good enough?

Maybe it’s just me.

The major thing I realised this year is how much negative self talk I was thinking. I’ve touched on some of my work experiences and although I believe I was right to stand up for myself I had my doubts. I didn’t realise how loud they were until I learnt about self talk and how it can impact your mental health.

According to Calm, negative self talk is:
“is the internal voice that critiques, undermines, and second-guesses nearly every move we make. Even on our best days, that little voice in our minds can belittle us, or tell us that we’re not good enough.”

They go on to describe the three C’s of negative self talk: comparing, criticising and complaining.

The impact of negative self talk

Low self esteem
Seeking perfection
Anxiety
Stress
Depression
Social isolation
Overthinking

I was berating myself for things out of my control. The train was cancelled and that was suddenly my fault. Why couldn’t I be like other people who made it on time even with these problems? I was really telling myself off for things that were not in my control.

It got to the point where I felt absolutely awful. I am not sure when the fog lifted, but I began to see how harmful the negative self talk was. I told myself I had enough people ready to talk me down. I had to be the person to talk myself up! To believe in myself.

Eventually, with some help, I was able to realise that it’s perfectly okay to be kind to myself. If I am late, I don’t need to turn it into a debacle. I need to take action to ensure it doesn’t happen again.

This article from Counselling Directory offers some ways to stop negative self-talk.

Mostly, though, being kind to yourself allows you to recognise when others aren’t following suit. It builds your confidence and relationships. It allows you to be a light for other people, to help them and have a good outlook on life.

Going forward, I want 2026 to be the year that we are kind to ourselves. That can mean buying those earrings you’ve been eyeing up for weeks, taking a mental health day or going on vacation but ultimately, I believe being kind to yourself comes from within. We need to have positive thoughts about ourselves. We need to reflect on the good that we do. On what makes us happy.